Dad

I miss my dad. I don't really talk about him much because quite honestly, it is just too hard. My dad wasn't the Mr. Cleaver type, probably more a cross between Al Bundy and Fred Sanford. He was hilarious. I've never met anyone who could match his wit and his humor. We are coming up on the third anniversary of his death. In some ways, instead of it getting easier, it gets a little harder.

When dad died, I was a single girl. Eric and I were in smushy mushy love and I grieved for my dad, but I was soooo in loooooove at the same time. I think in some ways that muted my grief for a while. Then along came Kylie, and that brought us so much happiness, and then along came Logan, and then....well I guess life slowed down and I realized my kids would never know him. They would never know that humor that had an edge to it. He would never call them on Christmas Eve and pretend to be Santa Claus as he had to my other nieces and nephews. They would never know the man that shaped so much of who I am.

In some ways, his memory lives on through them. I can see that same humor in Kylie. In Logan, I can see physical parts of him. So he is here.....but I would love to have just one more day with him. I would love for my kids to sit on his lap or for him to make them laugh. Tonight, I just miss my dad.

Sorry to be such a Debbie Downer tonight....I'll be much more cheerful tomorrow--I promise!